May 2013
tumblr has given me the worst sense of humor ever i’m gonna be so screwed for school like if some student catches on fire i’ll probably burst into laughter
Everyone at my school's idea of a relationship: Someone asks someone "Will you go out with me?" and the other person says yes. They hug in the hallways, hold hands in the morning before the bell rings, and they kiss at lunch. They say "I love you" after two days. The whole school agrees that they are the cutest couple ever and hopes that they will last.
My idea of a relationship: You start talking to each other and is in the "talking stage". One person asks you to go a date with them. You guys go a few more dates. You guys are dating. You guys act like a couple. You hug, you hold hands, you kiss. One person asks you to be their boyfriend/girlfriend. You guys are now officially a couple. You're in one of those relationships where you don't announce it to the whole world but you won't deny it if someone asked. You guys are comfortable around each other, you hang out outside of school. You say "I love you" when the time is right and when you actually mean it. You have a threeway with Satan. You agree that all other mortals are no better than the mud caked to your collective shoes and sacrifice the whole of your school to the Dark Lord as per his request mid-coitus. You rule the charred and ruined remains of your homeland with an iron fist. Together <3
that escalated quickly...
When my brother's in the shower...
-waiting for brother to get out of the shower-
-hears him singing-
me: will you quit singing?
brother: what?
me: QUIT SINGING. IT'S LAME
brother: WOMAN
brother: WHEN I'M IN THE SHOWER, TWO THINGS GET TO BE FREE
brother: MY BALLS
brother: AND MY SOUL
wilsonnthesassycat:
wilsonnthesassycat:
You can’t say happiness without saying “ha, penis”
this will be a successful text post I can feel it
nannajane:
in 7 years its going to be the 20s again so we can bring back swing music and the aesthetics of that era but keep modern values who’s with me
nahshaw:
I’m so glad people breathe automatically bc if I had to remember to breathe every second I would’ve probably gotten too lazy to do it and died from it a long time ago
lookslikeazipper:
Right so im walking home and I see this guy rolling a cigarette under a streetlamp and when he clicked his lighter THE FUCKING STREETLIGHT WENT OUT
I stopped in my tracks and stared at this guy who looks up at me then to his lighter and hes as surprised as me then he takes his thumb off the trigger and THE STREETLIGHT TURNS BACK ON
HE GAVE THE MOST SURPRISED LOOK OF ANYONE...
Everyone: Are you okay
Everyone: You look tired
Everyone: You look upset
Everyone: You look confused
Everyone: Are you mad at me
Everyone: What are you mad at
Me: IT'S MY FACE
kylesbogusjourney:
activatewindows:
kylesbogusjourney:
WHAT IF MY COLORS ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOUR COLORS
They are, because people having varying numbers of Rods and cones in their eyes, it causes people to see colours differently.
Also there is a theory that everyone sees, for example, the colour red differently eg Red=yellow, but because we’ve been taught that, that specific colour is...
herrschtick:
the most annoying thing i see on tumblr is when a gif has a whole sentence but if u watch the persons lips they only say one word of it
drarna:
things that everyone can agree on
the earth is round
dinosaurs are sick as hell
scrappy doo is the single most annoying character that has ever been conceived by the human imagination followed by caillou as a close second
sigoynerblod:
OH MY GOD BABY WEASELS
THEYRE SO CUTE AND TINY WHAT THE HECK
me: i’m gonna study when i get home me: i’ll just study before i go to bed me: i’ll just study in the morning me: i’ll just study on the way to school me: i’ll just study in this class me: i’ll just study in the hall me: i’ll just study before the test me: i’ll just study during the test
